“Carol Brown / just took a bus out of town / but I’m hoping that you’ll stick around” – Carol Brown by Flight of the Conchords
Perhaps it’s a sign that I’m happy with where I am in life (or at least apathetic about it, to look at it cynically), but it always shakes me up a little when those around me want to make big changes. For one thing, it can be sad to think the people I love are not where they want to be. I also do not particularly like change; I’m fairly happy to continue plodding on forwards, and I tend to assume others are too.
But there’s also a selfish feeling that comes into play when friends make life-altering decisions – one that’s rather uncomfortable to admit. It’s a voice that I squash to a whisper, and even then, generally only to myself. Don’t they care about me?
When another friend gets married, moves back home, or takes a job somewhere far away, my insecurities immediately make me question the value of that friendship. And it feels such an ugly thing to admit that it often remains unspoken, but the selfish core of me desperately wants to be reassured.
Deep down, I know that we all have different calls on our lives, and that other things – jobs, marriages, service, health, family – are calling them on. Even I have moved away from my original home – and not because I didn’t love the people there.
Perhaps these changes are meant to serve as a reminder to me not to get too comfortable with my life, and not to find my value solely in my relationships with those around me. My true identity is in Jesus Christ and the life he has won for me. He’s blessed me with wonderful friendships to enjoy, but it is ultimately in him that I have all I’ll ever need.
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