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“It’s ok for you, you’re skinny already.”

“Are you really going to eat that?”

“I wish I looked like you.”

This isn’t intended to be a rebuke, and I’m definitely not an expert, but when people make comments like this, there are a few assumptions at play that perhaps need questioning.

1. Assuming healthiness.
The food you eat and the amount of exercise you do are not necessarily reflected in the way you look. Be wary of believing people are healthy just because they look like your idea of perfect – it can make you both feel guilty.

2. Assuming happiness.
Personal comments, even complimentary ones, can make people feel uncomfortable and self-conscious, because now everyone is staring and they can only think about the things they don’t like about themselves. Anyone can have image issues, and while compliments are nice things, not everyone is in a state to receive them.

3. Assuming one-sidedness.
Comments about weight, particularly in our Western society, are often very one-sided. Note points 1 and 2, and be careful about making comments that you wouldn’t want reversed. 

This is a challenge to my own assumptions too – but it certainly isn’t meant to stop conversations about exercise, food or body image. Open and honest dialogue is a necessary and helpful thing, but it must be done in love in order to bring about real change.

Another year over and a new one just begun

And a very happy new year to you. It doesn’t seem twelve months since I last sat down to consider new year’s resolutions and the like. I may not be the biggest advocate of such things, but I believe striving to be more holy is worthwhile, and the start of a new year is a kind of rest stop to think about how we’re doing.

I love lists – writing them, crossing things off, rewriting them. I recently copied various lists from my old diary into my new one (I know, how old-school). At the start of 2015, I am also metaphorically transferring things from the 2014 resolutions list onto the new one for 2015.

Needless to say I have fallen short of the ideal many times in 2014, but each new year (and each new moment) is a new opportunity. My assessment for 2014? Not yet perfect. But let us not be downhearted by our failings, and instead give thanks for God’s grace. 

As John Newton put it, ‘I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor what I hope to be, [but] I can truly say, I am not what I once was. […] “By the grace of God, I am what I am.”’